Vanity Fair's Hollywood Issue and the battle of the Grace Kelly impersonators

I was upset about America Ferrera being regulated to the very edge of the layout. I was also suprised that Annie L. and company would put Jessica Biel on the cover. I was even more suprised that Scarlett Johansson was not on her 5th cover of Vanity Fair by now. Especially considering both Annie Lebowitz's and Vanity Fair's obsession with Scarlett, rivals only their obsession with Gwyneth Paltrow. However, I was reassured of their love of both actresses when I turned to the Hitchcock themed Hollywood portfolio, where the gruesome twosome were featured (imitating Grace Kelly, natch):


Scarlett adds absolutely nothing to the photo. If Javier Bardem wasn't there, I wouldn't know who she was supposed to be. They would've had better luck with a mannequin. Even the hair is wrong. She looks like she's going to a sock-hop.


Gwyneth Paltrow is actually sort of good here (alongside Robert Downey Jr.). So good for her, you could also credit the slender figure, filled in eyebrows and the dark lighting. She looks so elegant, and smug. Much better than when she attempted her Kim Novak impersonation, and instead ended up looking like a geisha drag queen:



However, Charlize Theron blows them both out of the water in her portrait as Margot in Dial M for Murder:


The expression, the hair, the styling is absolutely perfect. It's a bit ironic that it's also the least complicated layout. Methinks Charlize could've been a Hitchcock blonde from way back.

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