A Lesson in Posing: Part II

When the occasions calls, and you somehow end up posing with your enemy or frenemy, it is important to dominate the picture (pictures are forever nowdays with those new-fangled facebooks and myspace things). I will mostly be using pictures of the ultimate dominating expert, the exquisite Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis. She's wasn't a classic beauty, but by god, she had you convinced! That my friends, is how it's done. She'll meet her match in 1961, as you'll see below.

1.)First, it's a good idea to look towards the camera. Occasionally, this can be broken, if "looking off" is one of your best angles (see Rule #2). Under any circumstances, NEVER look toward your opponent or downward. It makes you look like you're actually admiring the person:

2.) Know your Angles. This cannot be stressed enough. Know your shortcomings and your good features. Stare in the mirror for hours, take test shots with a digital camera, if you must. The wrong angle can be fatal in your attempt to dominate:

Almost a draw: Natalie is cute, but Grace knows her angles

As does Jackie...


3.) Always be well-groomed. If you are a short haired vixen, fix it. If you have no hair, get an awesome wig (unless you of course, are blessed with beautiful bone structure). If you have long hair, for god's sake, do something with it! Make sure no bra straps are showing. Paint and groom your nails. Fix up your toe nails if they are to be seen. Nothing worse than ugly feet or greasy, stringy "just came from the gym" hair (only Paltrow can get away with that). Ugh!:

This picture is a lose-lose situation (though Alba wins with cleavage points)

4.) You don't ever want to stand out for the wrong reasons. You may think that hat or those latex leggings are cool, but in 10 years, they won't be. And you, my lovely friend, will look like a damn fool while your frenemy has a good laugh, and cackles about it with her underlings:

Jackie is just loving it that Grace is wearing that ridiculous hat

5.) If all else fails, wear an awesome dress. This is almost fool-proof and the biggest advice I can ever give you. If worked for Queen Elizabeth in 1961 and it worked for Stella McCartney in 2001. (No tent dresses please)



Happy Posing! Good Luck!